25th anniversary

Struggle this morning already thinking about tomorrow. June 28th is our wedding anniversary and tomorrow would be 25 years. We talked about making it that far and possibly going to Hawaii for a honeymoon because we really didn't have one when we got married.

Spent a lot of time thinking about Steve this morning and then when I went to donate blood, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" song came on followed by one by Bob Seger. I know Steve was just saying hello because there's no reason to play "The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" other than in November on the anniversary of it sinking and Bob Seger was one of his favorite artists. 

My aunt messaged me yesterday telling me that she was having a difficult time with this week too. We find it interesting that we are the only members of our family to be widows and our anniversary for our weddings is the same date. She said goodbye to my uncle on their 40th wedding anniversary 7 years ago. They got married the year that Steve and I were born. 

We both feel very blessed to have a connection with each other even though the journey can be hard. 

"evergone"

Well getting ready this morning I had the radio on and they said that it was a new song. I don't feel that I often connect the first time I hear a song but today I did. It's called "evergone" by Christina Perri.

I love the part where she talks about making a space in your heart. This is a concept I've always believed in. Just because someone is gone doesn't mean they're removed from your heart or because you love someone new that they take the place of someone. I think your heart just keeps growing and each person has their space. 

Here are the lyrics: 

Thoughts of you bring me back
To times I thought we'd always have
Who knew the world could spin so fast?
I didn't
I write letters to you in my head
Things we did and the things we said
Today I heard someone say your name again

In your hopes and dreams
In your memories
In the songs we sing
In the ones we leave
We carry on
Where no one is ever gone
No one is ever gone
No one is ever gone
In your hopes and dreams
In your memories
No one is ever gone

I think about a better place
And learn to live with the heartache
Between the nights and days that wash away
And every time I think of you
I feel you in the things I do
With every step, you're in my every breath

In your hopes and dreams
In your memories
In the songs we sing
In the ones we leave
We carry on
Where no one is ever gone
No one is ever gone
No one is ever gone
In your hopes and dreams
In your memories
No one is ever gone

I don't wanna keep going on without you
Grow around the pain if I have to
So I make a space inside my heart
Where no one is ever gone

In your hopes and dreams
In your memories
In the songs we sing
In the ones we leave
We carry on
Where no one is ever gone

In your hopes and dreams
In your memories (no one is ever gone)
In the songs we sing
In the ones we leave
We carry on
But no one is ever gone
No one is ever gone
No one is ever gone
In your hopes and dreams
In your memories
No one is ever gone

Thoughts of you bring me back
To times I thought we'd always have
Who knew the world could spin so fast?
I didn't

Source: LyricFind

"a stranger in the lifeboat"

I just finished reading a novel by Mitch Albom called the stranger in the lifeboat. One part really connected with me. (Page 241-242 in the hardcover edition 2021.) 

The character who says they are the Lord says, quote "When someone passes, Benjamin, people always ask why did God take them? A better question would be why did God give them to us? What did we do to deserve their love, their joy, the Sweet moments we shared? Didn't you have such happy moments with Annabelle?...Those moments are a gift. But their end is not a punishment. I am never cruel Benjamin. I know you before you are born. I know you after you die. My plans for you are not to find by this world. Beginnings and endings are earthly ideas. I go on. And because I go on, you go on with me. Feeling lost is part of why you were on earth. Through it, you appreciate the brief gift of human existence, and you learn to cherish the world I created for you. But the human form is not permanent. It was never meant to be. That gift belongs to the soul. I know the tears you shed Benjamin. When people leave this earth, their loved ones always weep., But I promise you those who leave do not."

I really agree with his thoughts about death and about how we as humans on Earth feel. Understanding that we, as humans, are not permanently going to be here but that our souls go on, gives me strength to continue.