Preparation

13 years ago one of my very good friends passed away. We were a month apart in age and had been friends since middle school. Her second child and my oldest child were only a month apart. Her husband and my husband were great friends too. We often got together for dinner and for birthdays. 

I know exactly where I was when I got the call from her dad saying that she did not wake up from a nap. It made death such a reality and led to so many conversations between me and Steve about what we would do if it was one of us that died suddenly. I think her death really prepared me to grieve and accept and move forward with Steve's death.  It also let us to have some conversations about expectations revolving around grief.

Her husband was able to move forward and has now been married for many years. I think he was criticized by many people for moving forward in a time frame that they thought was too quick. But as I've learned and experienced, there are absolutely no rules or timelines in both grieving and moving forward. 

You can still love someone and be in love with someone else. You can grieve the loss of their part of your life and also make new memories with someone new.